Talking with clients about death

The estate planning side of my practice has been going very well. Despite the complex nature of succession planning and the shifting nature of the law (especially the uncertain future of estate taxation, which cannot be described rationally to a client because the rules are insane), I am getting a lot more comfortable with the process. The most difficult part has been dealing with the "D word."

Death and dying. You can't really discuss estate planning without broaching the subject, can you? If there were, I'd be all over it. I'm still working on ways to lighten the subject; for example, using euphemisms (pass away, "no longer there for them", at rest). It seems especially difficult for people to think about the death of their child or children, so when I'm explaining the difference between per stirpes and right of representation I often make up imaginary children to kill off: "Let's just say you have four kids (to parents of two children) and one of them dies before you...."

The material I've found on discussing death is all focused on helping terminal patients come to grip with their impending mortality. There really isn't much on how to talk to young, healthy people about it. Maybe this will be the source of my first book. Hmmm....

I know it's just something I'll have to get comfortable with, and I'm hopeful it will get easier as I go along. Sure makes the other aspects of my practice (contracts and business formation) seem easy to talk about.